The End

At the de-orientation that we had about a week before we had to go back to the States, we were already informed about the changes that would happen and what to expect. About the fact that we would probably resemble a mechanical toy whose first action is to say things starting with "In China..." or "This reminds me of when I... in China" and other things pertaining, to, well, China.

Obviously, the week of the departure, there was a sense of depression over my friends and I. Actually, it came in waves. At the beginning (of the end), I couldn't believe (aka didn't realise) that we were going to leave that very Friday. Towards the middle of the week, it slowly snuck up on us. Even so, during the last couple of days, we'd particularly spend more time with one another, talking - with the occasional comments on "after this Friday, we won't get to do this again", which left Cloud of Depression over us.

On the other hand, we all had a rather fun "Going Away Party" our last night there. We had preordered a ten inch Mousse Cake that had fruit (i.e. dragonfruit, peach, kiwi, apple) all over it and this neat chocolate "fence" around the entire masterpiece. We had so much that we gave four or five slices away and we had the last piece (a circle in the middle) which we split up between all of us - with a catch. We had to eat it without a fork or hands and the loser got to be face-painted with frosting. :) I won, but Christine lost and we had fun painting. Poor her. But it was a good memory. In the end, we had this depressed air but honestly, it was a bit bittersweet. Earlier that day, we also had a graduation lunch where there was some reminiscing and we got our diplomas from Beijing Foreign Studies University and we ate. A lot.

Honestly, even if we didn't want it to hit us, we had no choice.

The day of our departure came quickly, especially since I was racing against time, packing up. First, Celia left for Hong Kong, then Liz and Chris left for the airport shortly thereafter. Then it was just Christine and I. It was rather quiet and subdued and rather saddening. I left her at around 11:30 with my roommate, Peng Peng, accompanying me. She gave me a little bag full of goodies to eat just in case I didn't like what they had on the plane. It was really touching. I then got on the bus that took us to the airport and we left.

When we got to the airport, we got to the place where we were supposed to check in with our luggage but it wasn't open yet and we had to wait for about forty minutes. There was ten other people as well as I who decided to take the bus together and I was the only Asian. When they were there, they looked to me first, even though the others had pretty decent Chinese as well. Well, I let her think we were a part of a tour group of sorts so we weren't separated and just went as one. I went through without a hitch, even though I had a backpack, a purse, a carry-on, and two rather large and heavy suitcases (well, one suitcase and one of those big, colorful tarp bags that can be bought cheaply anywhere in Beijing). I know I was at least bordering on the weight limit of how much you can check in the place, but she let me go. She was rather nice. Then came Amy, who joined us after we were told to get in the line, who was told to open her luggage when their detector detected something. It was a working, souvenir lighter that she had gotten from a friend. They confiscated it. The rest of my fellow study abroaders went through it rather smoothly but about four or so were charged extra and another was asked to check through his luggage (he had a couple of working lighters).

We left and found our gate. There, we had about two hours to waste until our departure time so Amy and I took turns looking after our stuff (we had a lot - she had a humongous camping/hiking backpack and two large suitcases) while we bought last minute things in the airport, trying to use up most of the money we had left, and to go to the restroom. Then... it was time and we all boarded the plane (me with a bit of trouble because my carry-on was bordering on qualifying for checked-in luggage) and it turns out we all got seats near each other. The flight back to the States appeared rather fast - at least faster than last time. The entire time, I was undergoing periodic moods of excitement and sadness. One, because I was going back and two, because I had no more money on my cell phone so even though people could text me, I couldn't do anything about it. My other friends had texted, updating on their status up until they couldn't anymore.

When I got to the US, it was obvious that it wasn't China. Everything was in English and all the stores were ones that I haven't seen in the past four months. Borders? Brookstone? Well, the problem was that our plane was already running late and we had to get through customs, a number of security checks, and pick up our luggage and drop it off again - THEN run to our gate which happened to be rather far from the customs area. Well, when I got there, I found Amy who said how they changed the Gate for our flight anyway so we missed it. We found the nearest Customer Service Desk and told them our problem and they booked us on the next flight to Houston at 8:25. When we got there, the departure time changed three times before settling on 9:10. We also got some Jamba Juice there. Well, we all arrived in Houston an hour after we had anticipated but that's all right. My parents, sister, and boyfriend was waiting at luggage pick-up and we all headed home.

That's the gist. Even so, these days, I find that nothing in America interests me anymore - and that's saying something, because before I even left, I had already thought so. All I could think about was China and the friends that I had there - even my roommate that I only knew for a short amount of time. Everything here was expensive and nothing here glittered for me. Even today, where we went to two different malls and even to a shop that I used to love because it sold Asian DVDs and CDs doesn't do it anymore - after all, I can get the same and at a cheaper price in China. In fact, everything I found at the mall had a replica that could be found at one of the many shopping centers throughout Beijing. I think the bargaining also helped a lot - because in the US? No one bargains.

AND, this morning, my first thought was I want some 餃子 (jiao zi, dumplings), until I looked at my surroundings and realised that there was no way that I was going to get a pound of dumplings for a dollar here.

It was thoroughly depressing.

I just hope that I'll get over all of this soon because I know it will be harder and harder for my parents to put up with this for long and I'm just like a depressing smudge, unwilling to do anything besides to think about the things I had done there - good thing I leave for school in about a month. All I know is that China captured my heart and I'm not sure if it will ever change.

Congratulations, because that's a hard thing to do.